Every week, a stanza. Loose, unstructured, random, ever-changing, unable to predict what's coming next.Sound familiar? Pulled from journal entries, free writes, and my memory that these days seems to be part dream, part reality. Starting the week shelter in place started (March 16, 2020). I'm posting back in time first, and then when I catch… Continue reading 2020 Hindsight Project
My childhood nickname was "lollygagger." My blog started out as a regular practice for me to both quell my latent lollygagger by establishing momentum in my writing and to indulge my lollygagger side by slowing down enough to notice my inner self. My lollygagger self is always framed by anxiety and depression. Instead of hiding… Continue reading Who is the Latent Lollygagger?
A story for new years if you’re not quite feeling reborn.
When dealing with a change of the clocks and therefore a change in schedule, for those of us who overthink, it seems almost comforting to rearrange the entire day—look at us, we can engineer the most efficient, most logical, most pretty-on-paper schedule. And then, inevitably, because the plan is so perfect, it must be our fault that we failed at sticking to it.
If you were to list the sounds you associate with safety and comfort and ease, what would you include? A favorite song, perhaps? The voice of a loved one? The sound of the ocean or leaves gently rustling in the wind? I’m home alone this evening, and after a magical October-in-San-Francisco sunset, enjoyed on the… Continue reading Latent Lollygagger: Doing Dishes
If all I’m doing is fighting my brain, then I have zero room for anything else.
It’s hard to return to something, like writing a blog, that you’ve been away from for a while. Especially when the world is on fire.
Now that I’m 40, I have all my shit together.
I’m back to a common battle for me: the line between indulgence (true self-care) and laziness (false self-care).
I don’t know how to explain this: it isn’t being humble, it’s being utterly convinced that I did nothing deserving of celebrating. That something going well or pushing through a hard task or even holding myself accountable for what I said I would do in a day, is just the same as what anyone else would do. Plus, look at all these ways I did it wrong, and there’s still so much on my to-do list, and I’m sure there’s someone else out there better than me.
Hey friendly readers! It's a good problem to have, but I have a few projects that I'm juggling right now. Paired with trying to spend a tad less time on the screen, I'm going to switch my blog posts to every other week, on Thursdays, rather than every week. Thanks for your support, and I'll… Continue reading Blog admin note
If I had the chance to go back and tell my younger self what I know now, one thing I’d share with her, is that her relationship with her parents isn’t static. At some point, she’ll see them as humans rather than parents, with weaknesses and blind spots and opinions she will disagree with.