I’m back to a common battle for me: the line between indulgence (true self-care) and laziness (false self-care).
Living in the limbo of having identified an obstacle but not yet having the tools to address it.
I want to understand why my brain is wired in such a way that feeling appreciation, gratitude, pride, celebration is so fleeting. But, I don’t want to turn that understanding into another way I can criticize myself.
We are surrounded with messages about making our lives easier, being more productive and organized and efficient. There is a fix for everything, so why shouldn’t there be a fix for my own brain seeming to stand in my way?
Making decisions based on all the factors, wanting to carefully consider options and not just jump head-first into an option before checking the depth of the water, this isn’t a bad skill to have. The anxiety appears when I skip over the line from functional to distressing.
The way I like to think about it, isn’t about my suffering or lack thereof. It’s that collectively, there is a sharing of the suffering that allows humanity to survive.
That saying, when you only have a hammer, everything becomes a nail? When you only have an anxious, ruminating mind, everything becomes a problem to solve.
Despite everything, it’s still possible to feel bored simply because what we’re waiting for hasn’t happened yet.
Learning lessons from vacation rather than trying to recreate it.
These days, it’s the starting that’s the hard part. Once I’m going along on a task or project or activity, whether it’s for work or pleasure or both, I am fine (and usually wonder why it took me so long to get going). I wonder why that is. Why the getting going is hard, even for something I truly want to do and know I’ll enjoy doing?