Somewhere between fifth grade and sophomore year, I’d developed the part of my brain that convinces me I suck and everyone will think I’m a failure.
Tag: Perfectionism
Latent Lollygagger: Time
When dealing with a change of the clocks and therefore a change in schedule, for those of us who overthink, it seems almost comforting to rearrange the entire day—look at us, we can engineer the most efficient, most logical, most pretty-on-paper schedule. And then, inevitably, because the plan is so perfect, it must be our fault that we failed at sticking to it.
Latent Lollygagger: Paradox
If all I’m doing is fighting my brain, then I have zero room for anything else.
Latent Lollygagger: If it Ain’t Broke
We are surrounded with messages about making our lives easier, being more productive and organized and efficient. There is a fix for everything, so why shouldn’t there be a fix for my own brain seeming to stand in my way?
Latent Lollygagger: Anatomy of a Decision
Making decisions based on all the factors, wanting to carefully consider options and not just jump head-first into an option before checking the depth of the water, this isn’t a bad skill to have. The anxiety appears when I skip over the line from functional to distressing.
Latent Lollygagger: False Conclusions
That saying, when you only have a hammer, everything becomes a nail? When you only have an anxious, ruminating mind, everything becomes a problem to solve.
Latent Lollygagger: Confession
So the pressure is a bully, reminding me that, no matter what, I am a failure. And it tells me that what I AM doing isn’t enough.
Latent Lollygagger: Defining Desire
There is nothing I desire from life that will come by filling my time with shoulds and busyness.
Latent Lollygagger: Perfect is the Enemy of Go
The first step in anything big and scary is usually rocky. It looks huge. My perfectionism convinces me I can’t take that leap, but look over here, here’s a safe thing you can do instead that is guaranteed to go well and you won’t trip and fall.
Latent Lollygagger: The Feeling of Perfectionism
What does my perfectionism feel like? Like a pinch in the stomach Like a building up of pressure Like guilt Like shame Like fear Like a worm
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