It is not impressive nor does it make your dick bigger to speed up when I’m about to pass you, maintain that speed for about 2 minutes before dying and slowing down, allowing me to be able to catch you again and repeat the process. It is especially creepy when you audibly coax yourself – yes I have ear buds in but I’m not deaf to your breathless chants, especially when I am the main character. We are not in a race. You’ll notice I am breathing comfortably at my 8:10 min/mile pace while you gasp for every breath. If we were in a race, I’d be about 45 seconds faster and so far out of your league you could only dream of using me as your pacer.

*Rolls eyes*

9.1 miles in 1:13:42 (8:06 min/mile)