We cannot skip this limbo stage. We cannot jump from old to new without a period of transition, which can become a period of metamorphosis if we only let it.
So the pressure is a bully, reminding me that, no matter what, I am a failure. And it tells me that what I AM doing isn’t enough.
Sometimes, the only thing that will move a desire along is by adopting a motto.
What it feels like to not feel like doing the things I want to do.
There is nothing I desire from life that will come by filling my time with shoulds and busyness.
What does my perfectionism feel like? Like a pinch in the stomach Like a building up of pressure Like guilt Like shame Like fear Like a worm
In this month's essay, I explore the link between perfectionism and depression, and how they feed each other through my inner voices.
Control is the gold at the end of the rainbow, which keeps moving the closer you get. It seems like an actual place, where you can go and be bathed in rainbow light and claim its treasure. My perfectionism assures me that if I just keep trying, I’ll get to the end.
The entire battle of perfectionism is that it sets up an impossible conflict: being perfect versus real life. Real life will win every time.
What depression has taught me—and maybe can teach you—about how to function in this crisis without losing all hope. Published on Medium: https://medium.com/@bankoferin/depression-in-a-time-of-covid-c4d0046052b9