From the journal entries and freewriting I've managed to do, I'm creating a stanza a week to capture both the personal and world struggles during the pandemic, how "pre-covid" life concerns (aka anxiety/depression) weave with new stresses and situations to create a tapestry of worries and gratitudes, indignation and hope.
What I would like to bottle up to save for later.
After dissecting the decision to visit my mom in last week’s post, the decision was made. A weight flew off my shoulders, and while bits and pieces of it landed back on as we implemented the logistics of what a visit during a pandemic entails, there is a freeing release when a decision is made and my brain is freed up for other things.
Making decisions based on all the factors, wanting to carefully consider options and not just jump head-first into an option before checking the depth of the water, this isn’t a bad skill to have. The anxiety appears when I skip over the line from functional to distressing.
The way I like to think about it, isn’t about my suffering or lack thereof. It’s that collectively, there is a sharing of the suffering that allows humanity to survive.
That saying, when you only have a hammer, everything becomes a nail? When you only have an anxious, ruminating mind, everything becomes a problem to solve.
Despite everything, it’s still possible to feel bored simply because what we’re waiting for hasn’t happened yet.
Learning lessons from vacation rather than trying to recreate it.
These days, it’s the starting that’s the hard part. Once I’m going along on a task or project or activity, whether it’s for work or pleasure or both, I am fine (and usually wonder why it took me so long to get going). I wonder why that is. Why the getting going is hard, even for something I truly want to do and know I’ll enjoy doing?
Every week, a stanza. Loose, unstructured, random, ever-changing, unable to predict what's coming next.Sound familiar? Pulled from journal entries, free writes, and my memory that these days seems to be part dream, part reality. Starting the week shelter in place started (March 16, 2020). I'm posting back in time first, and then when I catch… Continue reading 2020 Hindsight Project
